19 Sep 2008


Well that sucks ha ha...
Category: Friends

Well..my 'friends' or the ones that are LEFT ha ha, I've had a rough week, and I know it seems like I always have a bitch about things these days but this time it's been worse and raised the mark a bit.

I thought "Oh...darn...that's a downer...I lost a few people you just plain and simply didn't want to know me." But then I lost a shitload more! Ha ha!

Can you guys just give me a heads up on what I'm doing wrong? There must be something huh...because you can never have too many friends, but apparently for these insolent moronic perfectionists, you can because they don't need me...

And if you can't for the life of you find anything that I'm doing wrong, than I'd definitely appreciate it if y'all just told me why you DO need me. That'd even up the scale a bit




17 Sep 2008


Just a thought.
Category: Life

Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing repeatedly
and expecting something different to happen each time.
so if you're sane and you've been in love once and got your heart broken,
how can you possibly expect your second love
not to break your heart again?

5:27 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

14 Sep 2008


Predetermined...
Category: Life

And you open the door and you step inside, you're inside your heart, now imagine your pain is a white ball of healing light...that's right, you're PAIN, is a white ball of healing light...I don't think so.

This is your life

Good to the last drop, doesn't get any better than this.

This is your life

And it's ending one minute at a time.

This isn't a seminar! This isn't a retreat! Where you are now you can't even imagine what the bottom will be like, only after disaster can we be resurrected, only after you've lost everything are you free to do anything.

Nothing is static.

Everything is evolving, everything is falling apart

This is your life.

You're not a beautiful and unique snow flake! You're the same organic matter as everyone else! We're all the same compost heap! We're the all singing all dancing all knowing crap of the world!

You are not your bank account!

You are not the clothes you wear!

You are not the contents of your wallet!

You are not your bowel cancer!

You are not your morning coffee!

You are NOT the car you drive!

YOU ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING MYSPACE!

You have to give up. You have to realise that someday you will die, and until you know that...

...you are useless.

I say let me never be complete

I say let me never be content.

I say remove me from contextual art!

I say remove me from free speech and the free form and the free text!

I say remove me from the clear skin and the hair and look!

What will you have left? An organism?


or



a soul...


...


...


...


WAKE UP!








10 Sep 2008


The LHC (Small post)
Current mood: calm
Category: News and Politics

Those of you probably already know the LHC (Large Hadron Collider) Has already been started up, after a few revs they realised they needed to check the radiator and fix the tiers, so they installed some new happenin' floor fillin' bass speakers in the boot and it's all gooood.

Although it seems MOST of you don't realise the LHC's start up on the 10th was NOT the end of the world kind of start up (I call it that because it's easier for the creationists to understand *rolls eyes*) so I'll explain.

They've only shot one beam around the circle (Trying to be simple here ha ha) in one direction, so the particles aren't going to collide you see? next month or sooner (October 21st) if they get the time, they'll start shooting them into each other. "Based on today's evidence, things are going to move faster,"(Mike Lamont, 2008) and that's when everyone can run around screaming apocolypse because they don't know any better about science. "There's a remarkable number of systems working remarkably well -- the instrumentation, the magnets. There's still some hurdles to cross there, but we can anticipate collisions sooner than we planned." (Mike Lamont, 2008) So he suggests it might be fully functional before the due date of 10/21/08

So no need to worry just this minute (or at any time for that matter) come back to me in a month, and when hell reigns over the earth and satan knocks on my door saying "Dude...shouldn't have started that LHC...noob...lawlz...gimme your soul now please..." I'll write a quick blog saying y'all were right and I was wrong, but for now, I stand by the fact that it's just going to quickly advance technology and science, not destroy the earth.

But it's cute how when people don't understand something, it causes fear, thus causing anger, and ultimately they end up halting all that is the activity they were afraid of. For example...

The builders of the world's biggest particle collider are being sued in federal court over fears that the experiment might create globe-gobbling black holes or never-before-seen strains of matter that would destroy the planet. (CosmicBlog.com, Accessed 11/09/08)

If you're intrigued about just how moronic people can get, here's the full article.
[link]




09 Sep 2008


But what do you care?...
Current mood: depressed
Category: Writing and Poetry

Because no matter how many times you say it

"Friends are there forever, you always have friends"

I will look across the bridge my friends, and witness you all, enjoying the green green grass of the overpass...

I'm so drained from writing poetry so I'll just spill my emotions like I used to...this has no happy ending, if you want a fairytale go read a book.

And, as the tears fall upon the empty desk of my heart, I watch my fingers, type my feelings, for all to see, for I will always tell the truth, and never shield my heart...

My 'friends' don't give me what I want, certain things aren't available, and NO it's NOT sexual attraction, it's constant thought of me, it's morning texts, it's true love, it's seeing me when I need them most. Now they will comment here and argue as if they do truly do that, and they may very well, and I believe them when they say they're obligated, but there's a difference when it comes to love.

"Oh god Julian not another love post, these are getting old"

It's only because I feel it everywhere, I feel love all over the place, but not where I need it most...

And every time I get close to something that could be love, it ends up being sex, or it doesn't work out at all...

*laughs anxiously* That's odd, my internet just cut out when a bunch of people tried to comfort me, and my phone was dropping out every time I tried to reach out to someone, and then someone called me back, and his phone cut out...odd...who out there is stopping my happiness? Either Brendan or Aurelia will comment on this part and say it's me that's stopping it, well I'd like to believe that if it was that simple, but unfortunately being happy is easier said than done, and that's exactly what the situation is for me...

You know, some people would think I'm being greedy, but then, think about it, how much do I give, TOO MUCH! And I get some in return, not equal though, I don't care how Buddhist I am, I don't want to die alone damn it! How good do I have to be before I redeem whatever my past life has done to forbid my soul of true love and give me some love damn it!!!

ok ok ok!

Either people think I'm a 'layer'


Or people think I'm homosexual....


Or people think I'm taken....


No...I'm just a really nice guy, funny, caring (over caring rather), compassionate, intelligent...and all the other good stuff wrapped into one, what more could you want? I never talk myself up but I think it's about time I got something back, last time I ask, anyone going to answer the call? Least you could do is leave me a comment or something telling me the good things about me, a few friends have done that already and it means as close as love as I've received, it's very important Thanks.

Anyway I guess I'm just angry because I'm not getting what I wanted, but I'll tell you this, because I feel you, as my friends, deserve to know a little bit more truth about me. I'm borderline clinically depressed, if you see me make you laugh, I'm depressed. If I'm laughing, I'm crying. If I'm caring, I'm ripping my heart out, removing all of its shielding, and giving it to you to hold, don't break it, please...I beg of you...I'm running out of will power to keep trying here...